Fortunately, just behind the Green Giant where he couldn't be seen was a traveling dildo salesman.

Unfortunately, they were Jolly Green Giant-sized dildos. :D

Fortunately, they were like those Japanese dolls that stack one inside the other, so you could open the back of the big one and find a smaller one, and keep doing that until you reached the 8" size.

Unfortunately, the nesting dildoes were stuck together so firmly, the maiden couldn't get to the one she needed.

Fortunately, the travelling dildo salesman also had a Jolly Green Giant-sized tube of KY jelly, which the maiden used to make all the dildos slick...until she found the one she wanted.

Unfortunately the lube made it so slick that she put it into her pussy and it shot out kill the salesman and wounding the giant.

Fortunately, one of the people standing around was a mortician, and he went right to work.

Unfortunately the mortician hit some of the lube and fell face first into the lady's lubed crotch. Embedding him into her.

Fortunately, while he was embedded nose-first, he was a mouth breather.

Unfortunately, he inhaled the lube while trying to breathe.

Fortunately, he had to sneeze.

Unfortunately when inhaling to sneeze he sucked up a big glob of lube.

Fortunately, he was his town's spit champion, and got rid of that lube quickly.

Fortunately it was discharged when he did sneeze.

Unfortunately, a little girl saw the whole thing and went screaming to her mommy.