Unfortunately, the men were allergic to penicillin, and there wasn't enough tape to go around.

Fortunately, the men were found to be free of all infection due to all the alcohol in thier system.

Unfortunately, they began to suffer liver damage almost immediately.

fortunately, the pigs in the village were willing to give thier livers to save mankind.

Unfortunately, only one of the pigs was found to type-match the two men and be able to donate a liver.

Fortunately, half the liver was enough for each man

Unfortunately, the two foreign women took the liver to be a local delicacy and ate it.

Fortunately, an out-of-town doctor happened to be wandering by and went in to see the commotion. He was skilled in goat-to-human liver transplants.

Unfortunatley, there were no goats to be found, only a barnyard full of pygmy chickens.

Fortunately, this doctor knew how to glue together pygmy chicken livers in order to transplant into humans.

unfortunately, the villiagers were unable to run those 2 damn liver eating women out of town before they devoured all the pygmy chicken liver ass well

Fortunately, one of the people standing around had a cousin whose brother's wife's niece's nephew-in-law's friend owned some pigs, goats, AND pygmy chickens just over in the next town.

Unfortunately they were currently in an Amish town and nobody had a car to drive to the next town.

Unfortuantely, his licence had been revoked.

A bar? In an Amish town? We must grow our Amish differently in Iowa. ;)


Fortunately, at that moment, a helicopter landed.