Lil-
Personally- I am not sexually aggressive- although I'd love to be! :) But, I dont mind at all. I think it's fun and natural. I dont think you should have to censor yourself. If that's at all what you could be wondering.

Hugs,
Barb

I am naturally that way, too...and I've learned to tone it down until most people cannot tell. There are a very few friends -- many of them ex-lovers -- who know the real "osuche" who I will joke and tease....but I've found this level of discussion is counterproductive with most.

Lil -- I know it's fun and also part of who you are....but please be aware that you're a teacher and thus are supposed to be a saint ~~ unless you end up being tagged with a scarlet letter. :(

I don't make the rules, I'm just learning it's better to follow them.

No one better ever mistake me for a saint.

This has nothing to do with my career. Teachers a zillion years ago were not even permitted to be married so as social mores have changed so has teacher expectations. I will not accept arbitrary impositions that are archaic.

I'm referring to a private situation, socializing with friends. I've done a poor job explaining what I wanted to know but the thread has led to some great insight in other ways. Thanks everyone who has contributed!

It depends on who is being sexually extroverted, how well I know them etc. Some people make me feel down right nasty lol

My friends and I make comments amongst ourselves but that's different. If it was someone I worked with or didn't know closely, I'd probably be uncomfortable and try to put space in between myself and that person. It gets rather irritating and sometimes "extroverted" crosses over into "perverted" :p

It's not that I'm hypocritical, but I do believe there's a time, place and people to discuss sex with and it's not whenever the urge hits.

I was raised in a small place, bible belt, where people are taught not to discuss it. Saying "oh my gosh" and acting embarassed is just the lady-like thing to do (according to some) and it is my natural reaction because it's been pounded into my brain all my life that that's how I'm supposed to be. Doesn't mean I'm not secretly laughing at your joke or in agreement ;)

Some people...yes, it might. There's times you misjudge people and end up shocking them a little.

I, personally, find it refreshing when I see someone speak their mind despite the fact that the topic or comment may be a little "colorful". I try very hard to say what I mean and take into consideration who I'm saying it too. Yes, I sometimes misjudge and end up with a deer in the headlights look, but for the most part, my comments are received with the humorous intent they are issued.

Speaking as one who is as sexually extrovert (I imagine) as Lilith, I will occasionally be the one to come out with an 'Oh my gosh!' myself.

It is not usually the content of what people say that illicits an 'OMG' from me but the unexpectedness of the comment; that can be because I'd not expected a certain person would be brave enough to say something like that, or because I'm surprised to find someone who is as extrovert as I am.

Sometimes it's a kind of 'Oh my gosh' of relief and recognition that I'm in like minded company.

On the other hand, sometimes I will sort of feign shock for effect, although this is not exclusively in a sexual way. To give you an example, my ex always used to ask the waitress what the biggest thing on the menu was. I think this is about the worst mannered thing in the world that you can do, and it used to embarrass me beyond belief, but it never shocked me because he always used to do it. However, I would always act shocked and disapproving when the waitress was there, I suppose (although not concsiously) to show her that we realised this was 'bad form' and that my other half was behaving in that way by choice not because he didn't know any better.

Perhaps the 'Oh my goshes' you are hearing, Lil, are recognition that you've said something risque, but not that you've necessarily shocked or upset someone. In this case, I'd be studying the people's body language and noting whether they were still happy to talk to you during the current and future meetings. If so, I think you're safe to assume you haven't really upset anyone, you may just have been the one person brave enough to say what everyone else was thinking.

Like usual, Loulabelle's post triggered something.

Perhaps, even on a subconscious level, people react shocked because it allows them to enjoy the humor of the comment without assuming the guilt that accompanies it?

*wanders off towards the coffeepot mumbling*

There are priggish souls everywhere and it is their choice to be offended or shocked about something I may say, just as it is my choice to say it. I tend not to socialize with such but if I do offend one of them I just tell them, that I am who I am, that I do not act this way to be insulting to them and if they don't like me because of it then it might be best to move on(tactfully of course lol). It is my sense of openess and humor and they have theirs which I too avoid if there isnt a comfort level for all parties. I remember as a young mom hating all the talk of kids and diapers at a social event...it was sooo boring to me. I lived it everyday and wanted away from it when I went out. Yet I lived through it all anyway.....

I don't try to shock people or offend their sensibilities and I do tread a bit more carefully in new situations at the start but I will be damned if I am going to pretend to be someone I am not just to satisfy the few that may not appreciate my approach and my humor. They can walk away and talk about me amongst themselves...that way they are leaving others alone!

I cannot imagine how uptight I would be if I changed my ways to suit others in social settings with friends. No fun that's for sure! Further more if it was expected of me to change I wouldn't look at my friends as true ones. Not to say that I couldn't hold myself in place if a granny was in attendance but even some of the older women love a little sexual innuendo chat...my granny sure did.

Sure there are times that are not the appropriate venue for such talk and that is left to the common sense and the use of tact of the indiviual.....hopefully they have some! lol

I really think that this subject holds too wide an arena to put forth a pat answer to the original posting. To thine own self be true. If you say something that in the end makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is safe to assume it was not the best time or place or person to say it to. Time teaches all who we can talk to and what we can talk about......but don't go changing your ways to appease a few. You have to live in your own skin, not theirs!

PS.....I was wondering if you maybe meant to say you are assertive rather than aggressive. There is a big difference between the two. I personally took it you meant the former. ;)

LOL I have no idea what I meant anymore :spin:

I have really enjoyed reading the responses though. I think everyone adjusted the topic to coordinate with their own schema and so it gave me a wide variety of ideas to think about.

Yeah!!!!! Why is it people are afraid to say what they feel?
I'll get started in some naughty joke at work and they are afraid to laugh until I get started in a big ol belly laugh about it. After a while they felt at ease and started joking around but not until they seen I wasn't gonna let up. LOL :) It's really surprising at the number of people who aren't comfortable with their sexuality.
Now it's an all day thing at work with us. :D

I am also among those who finds it difficult to openly discuss sex among others.
This is different - the anal experimentation thread.
I think it is way too bad that anyone feels embarrassed or hesitant to say what's on their mind.
I wish I could go around and if someone asked "how's it going" I could say something like, "oh going just fine, read a good book last week, ordered a butt plug, jerked off last night, shot up to my neck, you know, the usual. And how's your day?"
Alas, I have not reached that place.
Someday.

Sadly, that place is probably where no-one knows you.