Dr Flil

I dunno what's wrong with me, but something must be...to read through all three pages of this in one sitting.....and I'm still none the wiser!!!!!

Bemused from Britain.

Of course yer skeered....you can't handle the truth ( said in a southern mock Jack Nicholson accent) You've got to take the heiffer by the horns and just face your fears head on. Then play duck and weave as the issues come flying at you like a swarm of killer bees. Only then can true security be secured.

(does he really have a chatroom???:rolleyes2 bet that's a happy place)

Bemused and bewildered by golly...you have got to start looking beyond the obvious...open the door up wide and rummage through the cupboard like your looking for that last cookie you know you left there. Like I heard someone say, "A wise man learns from other's mistakes..." and well a dumb one just keeps beating his head against the same damn brick wall and then acts surprised when he's got a headache. It's not easy to spout theoretical advice using nonsensical anecdotes and illogical similes. You can't judge nothin' til you've walked a mile in Bob's size 14 heels, remember that!

You are fuckin nuts woman. :D
I thought this thread was gonna be all serious and shit.
You had me worried. :p

It would seem that our dear doc is suffering from some sort of mathematical repression issues and I am most certain that the true channel that will cum in a lot more clearly is 69 :69: and not 39. I mean what good is a good 69 :69: with 30 missing from the fun! Of course getting from 39 to 69 :69: will also require a lot more fidling with the dials... but then that's where a lot of the required therapy is!

Bingo! Like my momma always said....don't touch it iff'n ya ain't sure where it's been!...er I mean :D

Boy you're squirrellier than a bunch of pervs at a buy one get two free dildo sale. I like it!

:blink: :blink:

So...um...ya.....like I have this problem of always wanting to jump his bones, but I don't want to wear him out. I can't keep my hands off of him. Is this normal Dr. FLiL?


Signed

Thoughly Addicted

Normal....what's normal got to do with how much cheese ya put on yer sandwich? If he's worth his weight in pesos, he'll drop to his knees and thank all things holy and unholy for givin' him a sassy, sexy, red blooded woman like you. And if you wear him out you can always trade him in.

Buy one and get two free, again another math issue with the doc... that adds up to three of them... now using that good ol' multiplicachion, 3x2=6 and 3x3=9... at least that is if the school marm, whose dress was always so fun to look down, was tellin' no tales (though her tail was also fun to watch)... so we're right back where we started... a good 69 :69: is what the doctor seems to be ordering! And maybe a good spankin' too! :spank:

Dr. Flil I desperatly need your help my wife asked me to shave my privates,of course I said NO!!then when I came out of the bathroom after shaving I had a red rash and little squares of toiletpaper stuck every where looked like a grubworm wearing a turtleneck how do I keep my wife from laughing? :yikes:

gag 'er :yikes: er I mean fill her mouth with sweet tasting treats...er I mean that's funnier than a chicken knee deep in dumplins'

Dr. F-Lil, how come I'm so busy I'm hoppin round like a one-legged man in an ass-kickin contest?

Cause you're really Dr. Flil's evil twin, your know, the one who makes sense :p Now get to hoppin' boy. Ya jus' gotta keep on keepin' on!

Well, I've got a problem and I thought I might get some input from you too, Doctor F-Lil.

The Situation: A woman I used to be madly in love with throughout high school (note: I only graduated 2 years ago, I'm still young) has just ditched her SLEAZEBAG of a boyfriend (though possibly only temporarily). I need to UTTERLY sweep her off her feet when she comes to town next weekend so she'll forget about him - and end up with me, like it should've been in the first place (I wouldn't have reduced her life to a smoking crater, anyway. Maybe it wouldn't have worked but at least she'd be doing a lot better).

She's kinda geeky, very artsy, and hardly normal. She's also the most beautiful woman in the universe, so I feel rather out of my league when I'm around her, despite her telling me otherwise. Aside from the obvious confidence issue, what can I do? She REALLY means a lot to me, she's sweet, she's smart, she's interesting, she's kind-hearted with a free spirit and she's REALLY REALLY sexy too. She's PERFECT...at least in my view of the world. ;)

P.S. Yes, if I end up with her, she'll probably become a Pixie, and you guys WILL love that...:p

Whooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now Nelly...talkin' bout puttin' the cart before the horse. She ain't yours yet and you are already writin' checks your ass might not be able cash. Woo her...girls like roses, and sincerity. If her life is a "smokin' crater" then she might need a lover right now like a turkey needs suspenders. Be available but not needy, show her a good time and remind her that love doesn't have to be all land mines and grenades. Make love not war.

Touche'
*goes back to her corner with her tail between her legs* :p

purty lady...I'm sure there's something much better we can find to tuck between yer legs than yer tail;)

Dear Dr. FLil, My wife has just gotten over her monthly and actually suggested I look forward to some hanky panky tonight. Should I be afraid?

Be afraid boy, be very afraid....she's gonna fall asleep swifter than the business of a 3 dollar whore at a sales convention.

Lilith: Well, I guess it came out wrong the way I said it then. Yeah, her life's messy right now, and I think your advice is very sound. Sincerity is me to a T, I'm not one for lies or any deception whatsoever...and yeah, roses sound like a plan, but I think I should probably take this slower. :p

Dear F-Lil,
While engaged in lovemaking with my SO,last night..The batteries in the vibe ran low and I inadvertently connected it to a spare car battery..Now her teeth are chattering continuously, and there's a strange look on her face..What can I do to relax her??

Cheeks Up, In Buffalo

Boy...you tring to make you some deep fried pussy???? Just stuff her panties in her mouth so she don't break a tooth and look like a one eyed gopher in a patch of fireweed. and remember you can take the girl out of the vibe but you can't take the vibe out of the girl.....well not if she'd conductin' 'lectricity at the time.

im pregnant, horny, and not getting laid enough, and my vibe is broke!! WHah!!!



















Ahh, i feel better now ! :) ;)

DrFLil.... are you still practicing.... and practicing and well keepin' doin' it?

I have a hot lass and I wanna squeezer ass! How can I letter know?

Coaster- from where do you know this sassy lassie with the amazing assy?

DrLil,

You know I could get ina hassy for spilling it on this classy lassy with the occasional gassy assy! Let's just say that when she shakes her voluptuous assy I get a massy for the lassy!
So PLEASE advise me on how to approach this sassy lassy that passy gassy! :heartbeat

Dr. Lil
I want to have sex but do to the heart surgeries i had last year four total, I can get it up but not without having to jack off for 45 mins I can get a hardon but i cant cum. If i do get a physical release it just dribbles out. yes getting rid of dark mold does help.

Make a pass at the lass with the ass and the sass but skip the gas. Perhaps offer some grass but don't be crass.

So you get hard for a really, really, really long time without coming? Pity















You live so far away or Dr. Lil would ride er I mean examine the problem personally.

:line: