Yes, it would be exceptionally helpful if you would decapitate yourself with a chainsaw.

Have you lost your mind?

No I know where it is and it isn't mine anymore.



Are we having fun yet?

I'm sorry, I can't speak for you.

Standing under a sign lit in red with the letters " E-X-I-T ", the man asks, "Do you know where the exit is?"

Couldn't tell you.


Where is the backdoor?

Along the front wall, of course.

Am I being paranoid?

Nah! It's natural to want to cower in a dark corner.

To the man getting his mower out .. "Getting ready to mow the yard?"

No dog needs a hair cut.


What's up doc?

You noticed my erection and still don't know what it is? :yikes:

Your neighbor sees you outdoors and asks< "Working in your garden?"

Wanted to work in yours but can't get over the fence.



On your knees looking at the ground, "What you looking at"?

I thought I'd lost one of my blades of grass, so I'm recounting those in my yard to see.

Your spouse/so comes into the kitchen just as you drop some bread in the toaster. "Making some toast?"

No, I'm perfecting my bread-to-orbit launcher.

Have you changed your shirt?

No it has always been the same shirt.



Can we please have quiet?

We can, but only if all the noise stops.

Getting all dressed up for dinner?

Figure they wouldn't like me nude at the restaurant.



Are you home?

My home is the world. Get off my lawn!

After flipping the light switch several times, and still standing in darkness,
"Did the light burn out?"