Unfortunately, she had a large microwave.

Fortunately in not paying her gas bill her electricity was also cut off so she was left in the dark.

Unfortunately, she had a massive kerosene heater, with a built in frying pan.

Fortunately, when she went to get it, Hansel and Gretel escaped.

Unfortunately, they were caught by the Jolly Green Giant, who was picking flowers in the meadow.

Fortunately, he noticed you had them in his grip and set them down gently.

( Who would have guessed the things you learn at Pixies ... like using frozen piss to heal fractured tailbones. )

Unforunately he sat them in a pile of Dinosaur shit

Fortunately, since dinosaurs have been extinct for so long, it was petrified.

Unfortunately, that meant that Hansel and Gretel suffered concussions from being thrown down on the hard surface.

Fortunately, all the band-aids and first aid cream from the TV doctors bus was still laying around

Unfortunatly Hansel and Gretel had completely dissappeated. It must have been spontanious combustion!

Fortunately, disappeared accidently got spelled with a 'T' leaving one last chance to come to their aid ( :D :D ... sorry ... couldn't resist ).

Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel also could not spell "disappeared."

Fortunately, there was a dictionary laying there on the ground.

Unfortunately, Hansel and Gretel were still preschoolers, and could not read.