sexually aggressive
 

Needless to say I tend to be sexually aggressive. Not just in my bedroom but in all other aspects of life. Friends know they can speak to me about anything and everything regarding sex and theat they will get my often times blunt but always honest opinion or a source for any information they may need. My family knows sex is not a scary topic to me that should not be discussed in mixed company or any company for all that matters. I usually do not restrain myself from making a sexual comment. While I don't walk around sexually harrassing everyone, I think it is pretty clear I am a highly sexual creature.

Here's my question....do you think that makes people uneasy? I've always considered myself as a comforting conversationalist, at all times attempting to make the other parties feel at ease, but after a couple of "oh my gosh"es lately, I am beginning to wonder if I take it too far.

It can make people uneasy, depending on what you're saying and who you're saying it to. As open as you are about sex, other people may not feel the same way and it just comes as a shock to them that you would say "something like that".

My mom is probably one of the people that would be saying "Oh my gosh" and she would probably make it a point to stay away from that person in the future, to use her as an example. We have been in public and someone out with us makes a comment and she flames them for it after they leave.

I can talk openly about sex with friends, but as far as being in "mixed company" I wouldn't dare, because I know it gets a little strange when someone I hardly know starts making sexual comments.

I'm like you Lilith, and while I don't think anyone is ever necessarily made uncomfortable by what I say (Because of the friends I have? Because of the way we are in Britain? Because most people have learnt to expect it from me? I dunno) I am often tarnished with a 'reputation' which couldn't be further from the truth.

On the occasions when people have made jokes about me being a 'tart' or whatever, I usually remind them that I've probably kissed fewer people than they've slept with.

I find more and more, that I tell people that I enjoy talking about sex because I think it's a fascinating subject (from a psychological as well as physiological point of view) and that I think it's important that it does get discussed in an open manner, because there are so many people out there with hang-ups which I might be able to help with a little bit of open discussion. I also find that sex is a good 'common ground' subject.....as living creatures we all have an interest in sex, whether we feel good or bad about it. It's something we all have in common.

it would make me uneasy but only in a certain kind of situation. ....say someone is discussing a sexual encounetr in blunt terms in the same room where they also had the attention of kids, little ones, under 13ish or so, i'd def want to distract the kids with something else.

most other times it just makes me blush.

Lilith, if you mean here at Pixies ... I can't ever remember even thinking that maybe you'd gone too far. On the contrary, I've always appreciated your candor.

If, on the other hand, you mean could something ever go too far ... I suspect it could for any of us ... but I doubt it would often or on purpose if the audience or surroundings weren't appropriate.

yeah people at work are used to my openess tho.
we are all a horny bunch there. but to others .......
No, they all wanna act modest because we live in a bible belt and thats they way we were raised.

I think living in the Bible Belt is a factor here as well. I would never discuss sex in front of an inappropriate audience ( minors, church, classroom, etc. or in front of someone to intentionally make them feel uncomfortable, especially since I want everyone to feel more comfortable about discussing sex not less.

Exactly! I try to make them feel comfortable around me too. Hey sex is a natural thing and we all do it. :)

i knew that's what you meant at first but then you said any company and i wondered... :o (i need to be slapped)


i do wish it didn't make me blush so often but i can't seem to help it. there are times that i really am easy talking about it but i'm *still* blushing. i don't know why that happenes. and when it does, and i feel it, it just makes me blush brighter.

many people find that blushing terribly enticing....;)

Well, not to sound like I am repeating people, but it definitely makes some people uneasy. I am a pretty open person myself about my sexuality and don't have any qualms speaking my mind about it. However my example has to do with a good friend of mine, she used to be a professional domme for many years, and just exudes sexuality, aggresiveness, strength, in everything she does. She works in a very male oriented industry (Harley), and she ends up shocking at least one co-worker every day with either something she says or the way she acts.

Mostly I believe it is due to the puritanical society we live in, which of course is a damn shame. Violence is ok but sex is not...and God forbid a woman be sexually aggressive...since that is usually seen as some sort of threat in today's society. Unfortunately this means sometimes you have to temper your own nature, which isn't very fair to have to restrain who you are but sometimes we do not have a choice.

restraint is not my strong suit...er well actually...I mean self-restraint ;)

Well, Lilith,
I am like you in the same way. the difference is that I am gay in a rural town and I don't care what people think. If a conversation is struck up that includes the subject of sex-of any kind I have an opinion. I think that sex of all kinds is good...theraputic and natural. It is not something to be condemned or pushed under a rug! Unfortunately, people in the United States especially seem to be so "hung up" about anything sexual that it becomes taboo to even have "unpure thoughts" BULLSHIT! I do not care if some one is offended-IF the subject has been brought up in mixed company..my friends/aquaintances know what they are in for...if you disagree (they know) you can shut up and /or leave.And as far as inappropriate places.(minors..church..) I would hope the people involved are also considering those factors. You seem like a good person..don't let other people make you feel bad about your opinions..or need to express them.

The question was, "Is Lilith's being a highly sexual being a bad thing?"

The answer to that is an obvious no.

If her attitude is starting to confront less open people, then perhaps that is socially

counter-productive for her and her family.

Lil in the flesh comes across as a woman strongly confident in herself and her place in

her family.

I can quite imagine sexual introverts being challenged by Lilith, but that's her call.

Thanks Oldfart, I think :p

I'm an extrovert in most all social situations not just ones where sexual talk is acceptable. I think that the couple of "oh my gosh"es I have gotten lately have typically come from women who have said it more for affect than out of genuine shock. Like the "oh my gosh" that says, " that's so funny but I'm not supposed to think/talk about these sorts of things". Since I realize that their sexual awakening/comfort level is not my responsibility, I have chosen to tone down my humor,discussions when socializing with them.

I was just curious how you guys felt when in your everyday life you speak with someone who is a sexual extrovert (maybe aggressive was the wrong word). Thanks for the all your insight!