On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Eleven nipple nibblings
Ten fast hard thrusts
Nine little hickeys
Eight tingling kisses
Seven whacks on my bottom
Six sensual rubbings
Five cock rings
Four flavored condoms
Three sexy teddys
Two little pinches
and a spanking over his knees

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~