Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Loulabelle
I don't think there are many people out there who think that men who enjoy porn are 'perverts' and therefore bad husbands, but men who become so preoccupied with it that they spend their whole day looking at it, ignoring their wives and kids to surf the net continually etc do have a problem that will probably only get addressed when their wives threaten to leave.
|
Well, I spend most of my time posting on a religion/spirituality board and in there Sexual Ethics forum this topic comes up quite a bit usually in the forum of a young wife seeking advice because she just found out her husband (gasp) masturbates, and (gasp) isn't thinking of her!
And I see quite a few where she is pretty much ready to walk out the door on a 20 year marriage because of this, and these women do get some support. (Note: I'm not saying the gender roles couldn't be reversed of course, but men do typically look at porn.)
My general rule of thumb is that unless it is something illegal or completely degrading there is nothing to worry about. However, try to see if you can make watching dirty movies together and spice up your love life (does this actually work? I'd like to say I learned what and where the clitoris is from lesbian porn, but come on.)
Also, often the problem is not the actual viewing of pornography, but the lying about it.
Quote:
|
I don't really see that there's a difference between porn and erotica. I think the two words simply represent the speaker's attitude towards what they are looking at. I'm sure there are paedophiles out there who would call something as offensive and wrong as child porn, 'erotica' as the word serves the purpose of somehow making it seem less graphic.
|
Well, one of the anti-pornography crusaders I've met also writes erotica, and is working on a novel about a Contractor who does a little more than just fix the single mother's backdoor if you know what I mean. Anyways, this person is also having problems in her marriage becuase she found out her husband watches those Girls Gone Wild videos.
Quote:
|
The same could be said for 'making love' versus 'fucking'. It's the same thing, but people have different perceptions of one from the other, which depends, even on the context of the act. If I were to talk about the conception of our son to someone who wasn't there, I'd use the words 'making love' but I remember distinctly at the time that I was urging Fussy to 'fuck me'.
|
My ex girlfriend said "make love" instead of "fuck me" only once, and that was only because she felt guilty about having sex outside of marriage. :-(
Oh and certain positions are always fucking. There is no making love in doggy style or reverse cow girl.