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When Dicksbro calls my name I'm so shocked and stunnned that I fall right off Murphy's lap and onto the floor...and because my hand was down his pants and his hand was under my blouse at the time I pull him right down with me.
We untangle ourselves and I push him off me in my mad dash to get to the stage.
On my way I trip over BIBI who is trying to keep TazzfromCA from getting below her AGAIN, and over Pantyfanatic who is sitting in the middle of the floor sniffing one at a time all the panties that he cajoled each of the female Pixies into giving him when they entered the room - well, each of the ladies who bothered to wear any that is.
I stumble over Vampeyes and Sarriah who are just sitting and giggling at one another for no apparent reason.
Scotzoidman sees me approaching and plugs in his guitar and in honor of my "Friend In Need Golden Dildo Award" and my relationship with Murphy, plays a few bars of Kenny Rogers "Daytime Friends and Nightime Lovers".
As the music plays I stumble up the few stairs to claim my "Friend in Need Golden Dildo Award" from Dicksbro and get ready to make my acceptance speech. But what's going on? I can't reach the damned microphone - it's too frickin' high for short li'l me to reach!! They look for something for me to stand on, but alas the world famous Pixie's Soap-box is in rather sad condition from such frequent use.
From the back of the room a female voice with a sweet Southern drawl rings out,
"Over here y'all!! I got somethin' y'all can stand on, Sugarsprinkles!"
Well, a couple of the guys go to see who and what it is. It's our very own DildoDiva and she gives them a large box - it's a crate filled with all sorts of wonderful, sexy 'toys!" They bring it to the podium and help me up onto it. Now I can reach the microphone and I commence to making my speech:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Pervs and Pervettes, I'd like to thank Dicksbro for this magnificent "Friend in Need Golden Dildo Award!" I really don't know what to say. I just want you to know, Dicksbro, that the few messages I posted on your behalf were done with love and with no thought or expectation of awards. I really NEVER expected such a beautiful award - and I must say in all honesty........................................... ....................................
I'D MUCH RATHER GET LAID than get a METAL DILDO!!! Is that really so damn much to ask? I mean, DAMN, why is getting laid so damn difficult?? It doesn't cost a damn thing, one size truly does fit all, you can do it almost anywhere, you can do it anytime day or night, and you can give OFTEN! So what's the problem???
Sensing that I'm losing control, Murphy rushes to the stage, grabs me, throws me to the floor and proceeds to give it to me right there on the stage! The audience, sensing what's happening, voices their approval with whistles, cat calls, and loud cheers and applause.
When we finish, Murphy stands, helps me up and while I try to make myself presentable again he tucks in his shirt, zips his pants, takes a bow amid more cheers, and returns to his seat.
"Where was I, now? Oh yes, - it's time for me to present the next award. Alright fellow Pixies here goes:
First of all for writing such sexy and hot stories that get us pervettes all excited, causing an epidemic of wet panties, and also for having one truly delicious and sexy looking tongue, and finally, because he looks soooo damn hot laying across the hood of his car............................................... .....
I'm truly pleased and honored to present this replica of his car.....with a large silver tongue mounted on the hood with a pair of very damp ladies panties hanging from it.......the "Oh My God, You Sure Would Look Good NAKED On That Car - Are You Sure You're NOT Related To Gene Simmons - SILVER TONGUE - LICK MY WET PANTIES AWARD" to our very own............................................... ........................................DallasLiving!!!!!
Now, Cum on up here and get it Baby
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