On the twelth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Twelve hours of sleep after getting up so early to open presents and be with family.
Eleven gooey blowjobs
Ten nymphos cummin
Nine naked ladies,
Eight dripping panties
Seven stripshow guest passes
Six sexual wishes
Five furry pussies
Four cumming cocks
Three long stemmed roses
Two cans of whip creme
one unused condom