I sat in a chair by her bed and held her hand, even though she didn't know I was there.....or did she? I could hear voices around me but I didn't pay much attention to the conversation. I leaned towards her ear and started the Lord's Prayer (she taught me it when I was 2), and I recited the whole thing without crying this time. I whispered, "I love you mommy" (we always called her mommy....no matter our age). I could hear her best friend, Doris, telling her it was ok....that she could let go and rest now. I didn't want to believe it, but in my deepest senses I knew it was happening. My older sister was saying something similar to what Doris had said, and I squeezed my mother's hand and leaned to her again and kissed her cheek and repeated, "I love you". Her chest rose in a heavy sigh and then lowered.......and never rose again. No matter what I logically knew.....I was stunned! There are no words to describe the overwhelming feeling that rushed through me. I continued to hold her hand and in an instant, my life, as far back as I could recollect, raced though my mind. My mother was in every part of those memories. No one is ever prepared to say goodbye to their mother. Now, my life would change forever.



This wasn't meant to bring anyone down, and if I have....I am so sorry for that! Yes.....it was one of the saddest moments in my life.......but since that day I have found out who "I" am as a woman. My mother helped me to become that woman. The day I lost her is the day I found out just how strong I am! She would always tell me that, but I never truly believed her till that day! I should have known it to be true.........Mom's are ALWAYS right! :heart:

P.S. BTW.....My mother would never allow anyone to say goodbye to her throughout our life, even if we were going on a long trip or if we were only just going to the store. She'd say that it sounded too final. So I never did say goodbye that day........I just said, "so-long, I'll see ya later".......and that would have made her smile!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~