(((((((((Grumble)))))))))))) and another bunch for (((((((((((Curvey))))))))).

Trust me on this one, it would be hard right now even if you were with her in person. We've had more than one person in my family die much too young of an early onset form of Alzheimers. My best friend here in England is watching her Mom's personality change as a result of mini-strokes that they can't seem to stop. Watching your parent die, or go through a brutal illness, is excruciatingly hard. Watching the death of their personality, watching them become someone you don't know while loosing the person they were, that's worse in some ways. Curvey's going through something I wouldn't wish on any one.

And she needs your strength and patience more than ever right now, I'm sure.

People react to these extrodinary situations in different ways. I know that when I have to be practical, deal with wills or funerals or getting a family in mourning fed, I seem to turn my heart off. It's the way I deal, I get through the practical crisis and break down when I have time. But it means I don't seem as loving or open or available as I usually am. I feel love, but it's all locked behind that big glass wall in my mind with the grief and pain. My guy is the last guy I want to talk to when I'm in those situations, ironically, because I so want to collapse into his arms. He makes it harder for me to be strong. It may be a flaw in me, maybe I should lean on him, but that's me. I don't know what Curvey does to cope, but you have to know completely that this is an EXTREME situation, and you shouldn't be surprised that she isn't being her normal self towards anything.

What she isn't, is your ex-wife. I totally understand your fear, you went through trauma with your last marriage and this may look eerily familiar. You're having flashbacks, Babe. Make sure you're not reacting to the wrong situation. I don't doubt you could write out a list of ways Curvey isn't like your ex. Please please please don't judge her current crisis by someone else's actions. I don't know what's in store for you two on the other side. And right now, neither do you. I don't think it's going to be the same drift apart you experienced before. The Long Distance Relationship makes it seem worse.

What to do? Be patient. Give her that gift right now. Let her know that you love her always, that you're there if she ever needs you, that you miss her, but that you understand that her Mom needs her energy right now, and that Curvey needs to be able to give it to her without fear of losing. You'll both be stronger for it afterwards, knowing that your love can weather this kind of storm.

And Curvey, if you're reading this, you've got my warmest thoughts traveling with you. I hope the storm passes soon.

G