Originally Posted by Lilith

I was once referred to as a "pleaser" and while that's not too far off the mark, I think a better term would be "fixer". I have a built-in desire to try to make things better for people or in some cases to make people better. Makes me a superb ESE teacher but a crap friend. Things are fine when I feel successful but when I don't, then my control issues come in to play, and my fight or flight instinct crops up. If you are my friend and you consistently have a problem and nothing I say or do helps...it doesn't help you derrive at a plan to fix it, or at least make you feel better about it, then I'm going to most likely ignore it. And in some cases it leaves friends feeling ignored too. I get my nose out of joint when I can't figure out how to "fix" it and especially if the friend is doing nothing to help the situation. I know that being a good friend means just simply listening sometimes and that they are not coming to me to have me "fix" things but my nature tells me something must be done. Anyway it causes hurt feelings sometimes, friends think I am disinterested but I'm really just avoiding the issue to escape feeling as if I've failed. *holds up fingers like a box* see it's alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll about me