Never thought I would stoop this low...but here goes....

A New Jersey man was found dead in his home over the weekend.
Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and corn flakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt. Police suspect a cereal killer.


Sorry in advance.

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

I think that is the absolute worst joke I've ever heard...but it was hard to keep that giggle down.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

The worst joke ever:

Q: What's Brown and sticky?
A: A stick

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-Deno

Here's a terrible one that is my boyfriend's fave:

Didja hear the giant had the runs?

It's all over town.

<<<<groans>>>> & ~~giggles~~

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor on the trail to the next village?

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LMAO!!!!!!!! Thank you for the giggle.

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-Summer
~ Pics of ~
~ little ol' ~
~ me! ~

LMAO ...........sometimes the stupid ones are so funny! I needed a giggle

I am oftebn accused of being silly....but it can be so much fun.

Q: Why does an elephant have four feet?


A: It would look silly with six inches :0P

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Life? O that thing again!

"I now leave you to your moosey fate"

Are we there yet?

A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver,she says to him
that she needs someone to talk to.She lives in a convent and
wants to experience sex before she dies,the driver agrees that everyone should have that experience.But the nun explains she
can't have sex anyone who is married as that would be a sin.
The driver says no problem as he's not married,the nun says she also has to die a virgin,so she'll have to take it up the ass,
The driver agrees again,and being the only people on the bus they go to the back and take care of business.

When done the driver resumes driving the bus then says

"sister,t have a confession to make :i'm married and have three children"

The nun replies:

"Thats ok i have a confession too:I'm on my way to a
costume party and my name is Brucie
:redghost:

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you can alway's tell a limey,But Not Much


I'm so miserable with out you,

It's almost like having you here

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PERKS OF BEING OVER 50.

Kidnappers are not interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

People call at 9.00 pm and ask, “did I wake you?”

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You enjoy hearing about people’s operations.

You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realize it.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the weather bureau.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

LMAO @ cereal killer

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CAPTIVATE MY ATTENTION, POSSESS MY BODY, INVADE MY MIND, ROCK MY WORLD AND, CALL ME "YOUR" BITCH... YOU KNOW MY HUNGER, YOU OWN MY DESIRE, YOU HAVE MY WILL, TAKE ME BABY... DIVINE PLEASURE

here's a cheesy bump!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Of course he was a real flake in life, too - and you should have seen his frosted side!

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BND

"Life is a choice, so choose wisely"