I apologise unreservedly to Lilith.

Yes i was lashing out in pain and frustration not knowing where the woman I love is, if she is OK, where is my life going other than down the plughole.

I was very near breaking point yesterday and clutching at straws and seeing one of those straws taken away burst the dam.

Through the help of a young friend who I met through an Australian Idol message board of all things, I have located Curvy, she is home. It was at 11pm last night and I have not slept a wink since.

Well she is safe at least.

Why she has just gone silent is something I have not yet discovered but I will.

It was being kept in the dark that was killing me and it was slowly killing me, my health has deteriorated markedly in the last couple of months.

It was ironic that it all blew up yesterday and within hours the jigsaw pieces started to fall into place.

I am apprehensive at what the next few days hold but the strain that has dogged me over the last 3 months is gone. You can deal with the truth and what is but it is a different matter when you are left in a void and have no way to resolve issues that you have only a vague notion of.