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View Poll Results: Do you like low-maintenance women?
Yes! Wouldn't have it any other way 9 40.91%
No...I like to take care of my lady all the time. 1 4.55%
Depends 8 36.36%
What's low-maintenance? Never met one of those women. 4 18.18%
Voters: 22. You may not vote on this poll

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  #16  
Old 05-17-2004, 08:25 AM
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Hmmm reminds me of a joke I heard in Sedona.

Want to know the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?

A southern girl expects the moon and the stars, and wants you to get them for her. A northern girl also expects the moon and the stars...but she will get them for her self, after she is done berating you for not fetching them for her.
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  #17  
Old 05-17-2004, 08:38 AM
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what darogle said....want a partner
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  #18  
Old 05-17-2004, 09:00 AM
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Is it possible to be too low-maintenance to your spouse/SO? - I think so. Some people languish in neglect and never make issue simply due to self-esteem issues. Ultimately, the time bomb is ticking.

Would a low-maintenance SO still earn your respect? - I give respect to everyone until they abuse it. So take that as a yes.


Do you prefer your SO to be high maintenance, and if so why? - I must. I attract intelligent, strong - willed women, so I must want that, right?


A friend told me the other day that I was too low maintenance for a woman. He said he'd never date a woman who: (1) opened her own doors, (2) offered to pay for dinner, (3) liked to take the lead in bed, (4) got ready faster than him in the morning (I take about 10 minutes), (5) and had no problems being blunt. Said a lady shouldn't act this way.

What do you think? - I'm comfortable with 1-4 as long as the lady does not mind having it both ways. 5 is a toughie. I don't want BS but I'm living with a lady that works overtime grinding her heels into my ego. So, right now, I would not be objective. I think blunt is ok as lonf as there is some feeling about hurtfulness.

Does a more demanding woman create mystique? - It depends on the woman. I beleieve it has more to do with lack of openess and less with demands.

Make you feel like you had to work hard and thus conquered? - I always work hard at relationships, maybe not in the correct direction based on my experience. I have felt more like we have been soulmates discovering each other rather than I conquered her.

I come from a family of very strong women that overcame lot's of disadvantages. How could I not like a strong woman?
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  #19  
Old 05-17-2004, 09:26 AM
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If you have known a person for some time,you would know what
they like & cater to it.A generational difference,& feminism,also make a huge difference.Example:My wife likes doors,etc.,opened for her,but she is MY age.I held the door,for a woman at Wal*Mart
,one day,& she said:"Thank You,No one ever does that anymore!"
I told her that I was brought up to do that but some women take
offence at that now. Irish
P.S.My wife works at Liberty Mutual.She told me awhile ago,that they had classes on "Sexual Harrassment"She said that now men are afraid to compliment you on your dress,etc.,anymore.In other
words,like anything,there are +s & -s!
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  #20  
Old 05-17-2004, 10:14 AM
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I will walk side by side with you, and when we reach a door...I will open it for you because I'm polite...not because you're a woman. If you reach it first and open it to go through, I'll hold it so I can follow you. If you hold it for me, I'll go through and say thank you.

Being married, who picks up the tab for dinner is not an issue anymore, but when dating it was paid by whoever had the money at the time. If you call me up to inform me of reservations you made at Le Chateau knowing that I don't get paid until Friday and am strapped for cash because of the rent and car payment coming due on the same day...well, I'm gonna ask you if you have any money before we hang up the phone. But if I've got the cash, I don't mind paying because I like to eat too. I guess it's a matter of moderation.

You treat people nice because you care about them, not because it's what they expect of you.
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  #21  
Old 05-17-2004, 10:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by osuche
Hmmm reminds me of a joke I heard in Sedona.



osuche~I've heard that one too! I like it. Btw...I have visited Sedona a couple of times, it is a beautiful place. I absolutely loved it there. I wish the memories weren't entangled with my ex though
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  #22  
Old 05-17-2004, 10:38 AM
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I am lucky to know some of the respondents in this thread in person face to face.

Osuche and Lixy are very much the sort of women that attract me.
Both are independant motivated but caring women who are far from demanding wall flowers.

My Curvy is of like mould. They make no overt demands for attention but appreciate the attention they receive.

I am naturally courteous and like to open doors and pay for meals ect but am leaning slowly that you should be gracious in accepting the same in return.

Intelligent adventurous and confident women are the ones that suit me.
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  #23  
Old 05-17-2004, 11:30 AM
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Low maintenence is fine...hell high maintenence is good too. Well not TOO high maintenece. Opening her own doors, being blunt, taking the lead in bed, I see nothing wrong with any of it. As far as the paying for dinner part...like many have said..that's fine, but not all the time...unless I"m making up for it in other ways







Besides...did ya hear ME complaining?
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  #24  
Old 05-17-2004, 04:53 PM
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Me hell I'm cheap and easy, you want to open the doors for me go ahead, you'de like to pay for meals, thats fine. I told my SO that she could go to work and I'd stay home with the kids. So lady some of us are just plain easy. Take me, use me, but please feed me too.


































LOL
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  #25  
Old 05-17-2004, 05:01 PM
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I think I've always interpreted low and high maintenance the way Lilith described it. If you need a lot of anything from your partner, such that they have to make more than a casual or comfortable effort, you're high maintenance. Be that effort doors, flowers, big fussy deals on anniversaries, breakfast in bed, constant reassurance that you're loved and lovable, whatever.

I'm not high maintenance, never have been. I'm higher maintenance than I used to be though....not because my old ultra low-maintanance self ever put guys off (guess I never found them), but because I learned that some guys start to mistake low-maintenance for no-maintenance. Nothing feels worse than knowing you don't need much, but aren't getting even that.

So now, I make sure the people I'm serious about know what I need, and that I'm getting it and am terribly happy because of it. Works much better, not sure why, really.
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  #26  
Old 05-17-2004, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by WildIrish
I will walk side by side with you, and when we reach a door...I will open it for you because I'm polite...not because you're a woman. If you reach it first and open it to go through, I'll hold it so I can follow you. If you hold it for me, I'll go through and say thank you.

Being married, who picks up the tab for dinner is not an issue anymore, but when dating it was paid by whoever had the money at the time. If you call me up to inform me of reservations you made at Le Chateau knowing that I don't get paid until Friday and am strapped for cash because of the rent and car payment coming due on the same day...well, I'm gonna ask you if you have any money before we hang up the phone. But if I've got the cash, I don't mind paying because I like to eat too. I guess it's a matter of moderation.

You treat people nice because you care about them, not because it's what they expect of you.

What he said... ^^^
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  #27  
Old 05-17-2004, 10:05 PM
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What WI said
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  #28  
Old 05-18-2004, 01:08 AM
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I think we need to define "high maintenance" here

I see about 4 different versions of what people believe are considerd "high maintenance"

I don't think Osuche's friend was describing the powder puff girl who has to shop in the most expensive stores and have to have her ass kissed evey time she bends over.

Gilly you said........

Opening your own doors isn't so much the ladies fault as it is mens, in my oppinion. We weren't raised having doors opened for us, so why should we wait around expecting it now? Men just don't do it anymore, and those who do are rare. We taught our son from the get-go that he is supposed to hold the door open, and say "Ladies First". It's cute when he does it. But, alas, I would say that only about 1 in 50 boys today are told to do that, and out of that number, maybe only half do it regularly. It's the way we, as a culture, were raised. It's both male and female. The men don't do it, and the women don't expect it.

Honey, I was raised that way! It's called MANNERS.

If more parents taught their children these basic manners, we as a society wouldn't be in the mess we are today!


Gingerv you said......

but because I learned that some guys start to mistake low-maintenance for no-maintenance. Nothing feels worse than knowing you don't need much, but aren't getting even that.

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!! That's what happens!

osuche.......... Want to know the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
funny, we heard the same thing about northern girls.
you all forget our great-grandmothers traveled down here and fought indians and were still treated like a lady. I don't think we are too damn demanding. we can be strong and still have class.
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  #29  
Old 05-18-2004, 02:56 AM
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Well I'd say I'm a lot like you Osuche in the things you've mentioned here, but no-one has ever described me as low maintenance......

I expect to be treated with respect and as an equal by my man, whether I behave like a 'lady' or not. That's the whole point of equality. I need my guy to be sensitive to my needs, thoughtful, generous and adoring. I need him to show this to me pretty much constantly, as I do to him. I expect him to respect, but not necessarily share, my opinions.

I also expect him to appreciate me when I make the effort with my appearance, and still think I'm beautiful when I don't. I do expect him to make an effort for special occasions, and to take an interest in the things that are important to me, whether it's his 'thing' or not. Added to this, I expect him to occasionally put himself out for me, for something that's important to me, as I do the same for him.

I think that makes me pretty high maintenance, and I wonder if your friend, has misunderstood the concept of 'high maintenance' and has got it confused with 'helpless'.

Oh and plus, if women in England waited for guys to open doors for us, we'd never even be able to leave the house!!!! It's just not done here anymore.
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  #30  
Old 05-18-2004, 03:33 AM
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Here here Loulabelle!
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