These two are older than sex but I think they say it all...

"Look! When I want to hear from an asshole...I'll fart!!!!"

"You want to know something? I know that you will never suffer from hemmoroids...because your such a perfect asshole!"

How about...

Colder than a well diggers ass.....means pretty damn cold

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

Single women can't fart
They don't have an asshole
Until they get married

sorry just a little funny!!!

BIBI........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........LMAO.......he hehe

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~ Nikki ~

"In love there are no rules".......Bono

I may be fat but your ugly and at least I can lose weight

This is as thrilling as watching paint dry!

*bump*

Slicker 'n snot = very cool
You're shitting me = You're lying

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Brat!


I was thinking of bumping this but my contributions are way too retarded.


beating a dead horse = continuing to do something past the point of usefullnesss

shit the bed = stopped working and can't be fixed (ie...I was crushing ice cubes in the blender and it shit the bed)

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

<----always said, "Slicker 'n snot on a glass doorknob."

But maybe it was a Kentucky thing.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Fine as frog hair split 7 ways! - excellent mood

Dumber than a box of rocks & uglier than the back side of a mule - means that person is really stupid & ugly.

Shit + 2 is 8.... that is how my mom would swear when we were little... she would throw in a math lesson every now and then by asking us what shit would be... lol

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

I went out to dinner with a couple from England and their teenaged son. As we are sitting outside drinking a few drinks their son kept saying how there was lots of nice "birds" here. So I start looking in the trees to figure out what type of bird he was seeing so I could tell him what they were called. So finally I asked "where are the birds". Then I was informed that he meant girls! LOL

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-Summer
~ Pics of ~
~ little ol' ~
~ me! ~

My favorite...."Meanwhile, back at the ranch..."

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

didn't realize there was a thread for this. i asked about sayings in other parts of the world, but here in Texas we're
"fixin' to" when we're about to do something. "I'm fixin to go to the store"

we also have a saying about University of Oklahoma....now don't anyone get mad at me but it's been said that you can't spell Mother Fu@#$! without OU!

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one for all, and all for me!

OK...this is getting easier (seeing skip's old threads). TY Aqua!!! *hug*

Colder than a brass commode on the shady side of an iceburg! ~ self explainitory

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining! ~ liar, liar...don't put out the fire on MY pants!

*touches monitor screen...miss you skip!...blows a kiss*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I don't think I will ever get used to this... my heart lands in my throat everytime... *sigh*