Needless to say I tend to be sexually aggressive. Not just in my bedroom but in all other aspects of life. Friends know they can speak to me about anything and everything regarding sex and theat they will get my often times blunt but always honest opinion or a source for any information they may need. My family knows sex is not a scary topic to me that should not be discussed in mixed company or any company for all that matters. I usually do not restrain myself from making a sexual comment. While I don't walk around sexually harrassing everyone, I think it is pretty clear I am a highly sexual creature.

Here's my question....do you think that makes people uneasy? I've always considered myself as a comforting conversationalist, at all times attempting to make the other parties feel at ease, but after a couple of "oh my gosh"es lately, I am beginning to wonder if I take it too far.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

It can make people uneasy, depending on what you're saying and who you're saying it to. As open as you are about sex, other people may not feel the same way and it just comes as a shock to them that you would say "something like that".

My mom is probably one of the people that would be saying "Oh my gosh" and she would probably make it a point to stay away from that person in the future, to use her as an example. We have been in public and someone out with us makes a comment and she flames them for it after they leave.

I can talk openly about sex with friends, but as far as being in "mixed company" I wouldn't dare, because I know it gets a little strange when someone I hardly know starts making sexual comments.

__________________


It's a BOY!!

I'm like you Lilith, and while I don't think anyone is ever necessarily made uncomfortable by what I say (Because of the friends I have? Because of the way we are in Britain? Because most people have learnt to expect it from me? I dunno) I am often tarnished with a 'reputation' which couldn't be further from the truth.

On the occasions when people have made jokes about me being a 'tart' or whatever, I usually remind them that I've probably kissed fewer people than they've slept with.

I find more and more, that I tell people that I enjoy talking about sex because I think it's a fascinating subject (from a psychological as well as physiological point of view) and that I think it's important that it does get discussed in an open manner, because there are so many people out there with hang-ups which I might be able to help with a little bit of open discussion. I also find that sex is a good 'common ground' subject.....as living creatures we all have an interest in sex, whether we feel good or bad about it. It's something we all have in common.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

it would make me uneasy but only in a certain kind of situation. ....say someone is discussing a sexual encounetr in blunt terms in the same room where they also had the attention of kids, little ones, under 13ish or so, i'd def want to distract the kids with something else.

most other times it just makes me blush.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

Lilith, if you mean here at Pixies ... I can't ever remember even thinking that maybe you'd gone too far. On the contrary, I've always appreciated your candor.

If, on the other hand, you mean could something ever go too far ... I suspect it could for any of us ... but I doubt it would often or on purpose if the audience or surroundings weren't appropriate.

yeah people at work are used to my openess tho.
we are all a horny bunch there. but to others .......
No, they all wanna act modest because we live in a bible belt and thats they way we were raised.

__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

Well, not to sound like I am repeating people, but it definitely makes some people uneasy. I am a pretty open person myself about my sexuality and don't have any qualms speaking my mind about it. However my example has to do with a good friend of mine, she used to be a professional domme for many years, and just exudes sexuality, aggresiveness, strength, in everything she does. She works in a very male oriented industry (Harley), and she ends up shocking at least one co-worker every day with either something she says or the way she acts.

Mostly I believe it is due to the puritanical society we live in, which of course is a damn shame. Violence is ok but sex is not...and God forbid a woman be sexually aggressive...since that is usually seen as some sort of threat in today's society. Unfortunately this means sometimes you have to temper your own nature, which isn't very fair to have to restrain who you are but sometimes we do not have a choice.

__________________
"And as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we'll play. And I know we can't all stay here forever, so I'll write, my words on the face of today...and then they'll paint it" - Shannon Hoon

restraint is not my strong suit...er well actually...I mean self-restraint

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Well, Lilith,
I am like you in the same way. the difference is that I am gay in a rural town and I don't care what people think. If a conversation is struck up that includes the subject of sex-of any kind I have an opinion. I think that sex of all kinds is good...theraputic and natural. It is not something to be condemned or pushed under a rug! Unfortunately, people in the United States especially seem to be so "hung up" about anything sexual that it becomes taboo to even have "unpure thoughts" BULLSHIT! I do not care if some one is offended-IF the subject has been brought up in mixed company..my friends/aquaintances know what they are in for...if you disagree (they know) you can shut up and /or leave.And as far as inappropriate places.(minors..church..) I would hope the people involved are also considering those factors. You seem like a good person..don't let other people make you feel bad about your opinions..or need to express them.

The question was, "Is Lilith's being a highly sexual being a bad thing?"

The answer to that is an obvious no.

If her attitude is starting to confront less open people, then perhaps that is socially

counter-productive for her and her family.

Lil in the flesh comes across as a woman strongly confident in herself and her place in

her family.

I can quite imagine sexual introverts being challenged by Lilith, but that's her call.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Thanks Oldfart, I think

I'm an extrovert in most all social situations not just ones where sexual talk is acceptable. I think that the couple of "oh my gosh"es I have gotten lately have typically come from women who have said it more for affect than out of genuine shock. Like the "oh my gosh" that says, " that's so funny but I'm not supposed to think/talk about these sorts of things". Since I realize that their sexual awakening/comfort level is not my responsibility, I have chosen to tone down my humor,discussions when socializing with them.

I was just curious how you guys felt when in your everyday life you speak with someone who is a sexual extrovert (maybe aggressive was the wrong word). Thanks for the all your insight!

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Some people...yes, it might. There's times you misjudge people and end up shocking them a little.

I, personally, find it refreshing when I see someone speak their mind despite the fact that the topic or comment may be a little "colorful". I try very hard to say what I mean and take into consideration who I'm saying it too. Yes, I sometimes misjudge and end up with a deer in the headlights look, but for the most part, my comments are received with the humorous intent they are issued.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Speaking as one who is as sexually extrovert (I imagine) as Lilith, I will occasionally be the one to come out with an 'Oh my gosh!' myself.

It is not usually the content of what people say that illicits an 'OMG' from me but the unexpectedness of the comment; that can be because I'd not expected a certain person would be brave enough to say something like that, or because I'm surprised to find someone who is as extrovert as I am.

Sometimes it's a kind of 'Oh my gosh' of relief and recognition that I'm in like minded company.

On the other hand, sometimes I will sort of feign shock for effect, although this is not exclusively in a sexual way. To give you an example, my ex always used to ask the waitress what the biggest thing on the menu was. I think this is about the worst mannered thing in the world that you can do, and it used to embarrass me beyond belief, but it never shocked me because he always used to do it. However, I would always act shocked and disapproving when the waitress was there, I suppose (although not concsiously) to show her that we realised this was 'bad form' and that my other half was behaving in that way by choice not because he didn't know any better.

Perhaps the 'Oh my goshes' you are hearing, Lil, are recognition that you've said something risque, but not that you've necessarily shocked or upset someone. In this case, I'd be studying the people's body language and noting whether they were still happy to talk to you during the current and future meetings. If so, I think you're safe to assume you haven't really upset anyone, you may just have been the one person brave enough to say what everyone else was thinking.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Like usual, Loulabelle's post triggered something.

Perhaps, even on a subconscious level, people react shocked because it allows them to enjoy the humor of the comment without assuming the guilt that accompanies it?

*wanders off towards the coffeepot mumbling*

Yeah!!!!! Why is it people are afraid to say what they feel?
I'll get started in some naughty joke at work and they are afraid to laugh until I get started in a big ol belly laugh about it. After a while they felt at ease and started joking around but not until they seen I wasn't gonna let up. LOL It's really surprising at the number of people who aren't comfortable with their sexuality.
Now it's an all day thing at work with us.

__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.